humor, Telecommuting, Working from Home

Working from Home ~ ~ Things are just Humming Right Along.

My espresso machine finally arrived!! A vintage beauty, handmade in Zubrovka, you cannot get quality like this anymore. The little dents are where I hit it with a tiny ball peen hammer, which was included, it’s all part of the process.



Well, Day 21 of working from home.  Welcome to the New Frontier, or Brave New World, whatever we’ve got goin’ on these days.

I guess we’re all tech savvies now, addicted to the internet.

I’ve never followed any “advice columns” before, but have been doing a lot of Software Help Forums lately.  In addition to our regular lifestyle coaches & “influencers,”  like Ozzy Osbourne and Rush Limbaugh, I guess most of us are being guided by the DHHS, CDC & WHO.

And lately, I’ve felt like the AKC is running the show – – the continuing orders of Go Home!  Sit!  Stay!

Of course we know, it’s STTS (“Stuff to be taken seriously”).  I just had to curb my frustration, at all the directives from Employer & Media & Government, and not feel like I’m at the end of my rope, or leash.  I’ve resisted the urge to mark my territory as I leave the apartment.

I’ve been thinking a lot about how our surrounding affect our emotions, thoughts, and behavior.

Sometimes our reactions to the environment may be pretty obvious.  If it’s Milwaukee, for example, the reaction is probably shivering, for most of the year.

But often we’re not fully aware of the more subtle, hidden influences that our natural, or man-made habitats exert upon us.  “Surroundings” is exactly the right term – – after weeks of working from home, you do feel surrounded by these walls.

A public space, a building, an apartment—whatever milieu we find ourselves in, it does impact our thoughts.  For example, perhaps it’s a place – a university, coffee bar in an art museum, Québec, etc. – where you can say “milieu” without feeling pretentious.

So.  I decided to analyze my world, figure out what this apartment is doing to me.


Color #1

The beige walls seem to work just fine with me.  There is an affinity.  I am beige myself. Over time, the paint seems to be fading toward “antique white,” and I guess that’ll happen to me too, eventually.

Noise #1

The refrigerator is full, stuffed with provisions, and the compressor kicks in less often, so it hasn’t been producing that high-pitched whine.  I too am full, stuffed with provisions, and am whining less, because I like to eat.

Noise #2

The electric mixer makes a whirring sound, along with a quiet metallic clanging, that’s actually kind of nice.  Like a faint, faraway gong.  And it’s got a beat!  You can dance to it, and your mood lightens!

I just let it keep beating the egg batter, while I dance, it’s like the old Royal Navy saying ~ “Beatings will continue until morale improves.”




YouTube videos have helped me a lot with hooking up all the gear I need for work! I got all this cool stuff on eBay and my home office is now humming with activity.



Noise #3

On a related note, B flat I believe, did you ever notice, if you’ve stayed with friends or relatives overseas,  that their appliances sound different?  Just like the cars in other countries, sound different  – – there’s no mistaking the thin nasal sound of a Peugeot engine, as an insane person chases you down the sidewalk, or the whistling sound made by Tata Nano, as it runs a red light and takes a shortcut through your hotel lobby.

As you’ve come to expect, indeed, demand from this blog, I have a deeply-researched, scientific explanation for the vive la difference – – “Why do American appliances hum at a different pitch than foreign ones?”

It’s a burning issue.  Sometimes literally, if you got a bad lithium battery or travel adapter.  And it’s not your imagination.  Turns out, most of the world isn’t on our wavelength.

We’re the B Flat Boys, but most places overseas, they hear a different drummer, call a different tune ~ ~ the fridges, washers & Euro-trash compactors, etc. are buzzing & humming along in G.

It’s due to each continent’s different electrical systems, 50Hz vs 60Hz.  The Big Four ~ ~ U.S., Canada, Mexico, Palmyra Atoll ~ ~  we’re all in sync at 60Hz.  What’s a Hz?  It’s the unit of frequency, cycle per second.  Yeah, I have no idea, either, sounds like physics, or algebra (existentialism?  definitely one of those forgotten college classes, anyway) something about surfing electromagnetic waves.  (For years, I thought “megahertz” was just a really big car rental place.)

Any questions, please email Herr Professor Doktor Heinrich Rudolf Hertz, although his Facebook status is “Away.”  (He died in 1894, flights of angels hum thee to thy rest.)

Brilliant guy, of course.  But did Hertz, Edison, Tesla, Westinghouse and all those guys, ever think about us, living with these machines, when they chose those waves?!  

It’s a transforming experience – – that hum is everywhere, once you’re aware of it.  After a sleepless night in an unfamiliar hotel, tortured by the sounds from the appliances, I’ve sometimes said to the mini-fridge the next morning, “Listen here, gadget, I can’t say as I care for your tone.”

Samsung it, and so did I.  Endlessly cycling around our brain, listening to the Song of the Whirlpool.   Waking up to your coffee makers, Black & Decker, coughing and gurgling as they imitate Bob Dylan on “One More Cup of Coffee,” except more musically than the original.  Feeling totally buzzed, totally amped, I call the customer complaint lines, demanding sound-proofing, but this Major Pain is outranked by Admiral and General Electric.

We’re used to our own cyclical change of current, and OK, it’s true – Mozart, Beethoven, Mendelssohn, all those guys, wrote great pieces in B Flat.  But I don’t think a convection oven humming “B flat” is appropriate for making a souffle, for example.

Well, I hope we’ve all learned a lot, and things are going along healthily & hummingly for all of you.  Good health, Zei gezunt.