Tag Archives: parody

New York State has decided to allow a “Holiday Deer Hunt” (seriously).

Seems like a great way to promote the great outdoors, alfresco Nativity and peace & goodwill to all.

If you’re not a hunter,

looking forward to some family time and a walk in the winter wonderland,

a snowmobile jaunt, a cross-country ski trek

we have some new slogans:

Not just Icy, Pretty Dicey!

See Some Wildlife?  Duck!

Nothing says holiday cheer like shooting a deer.

 

And here’s an old Chuck Berry tune for the new festivity.

 

“RUN RUDOLPH RUN”

Billboard’s S’Hot 100, Number Six with a Bullet

 

 

Out of all the reindeers you know you are the mastermind

But run, run Rudolph, hunters ain’t too far behind


Run, run Rudolph, Santa’s gotta make it to town

Santa, wear an orange vest and you’d better keep your head well down.

Run, run Rudolph ’cause they’re loaded up and shootin’ all around

 

Said Santa to a boy child, “What have you been longin’ for?”

“All I want for Christmas is a semi-auto BAR.”

And then away went Rudolph whizzin’ like a shootin’ star

 

Run, run Rudolph, you’re called fair game in this town

Santa, make him hurry, we don’t want your sled shot down

 

Run, run Rudolph, I just heard a .30-06 round

Run, run Rudolph, the Grinch has got a compound

Bow.


Santa, make him hurry, tell him we all got guns and beer,

Run, run Rudolph, I’m strappin’ on my bandolier.

 

Said Santa to a girl child, “What would please you most to get?”

“A little baby doll with crossbow or Barbie with a bayonet”

 

And then away went Rudolph, zippin’ up his Kevlar vest

‘Cause we leave the house without a rifle, we just feel undressed.

 

Run, run Rudolph, gotta make it to town

Santa, make him hurry, tell him he better stay in the mall

Run, run Rudolph we don’t want your antlers on the wall.

 

apologies to Chuck Berry

NY is not only allowing deer hunting until New Year’s, they’re also allowing hunting for a half-hour after sundown – – Rudolph, with your nose so bright, you’re sure to be in someone’s sights by night.

The old Xmas postcard is from the Library of Congress

Finger Lakes, FLX, NY, Upstate New York

New York extends deer hunting season through the holidays. Run, Rudolph, Run

Image

 

I went out one mornin’ when the sun didn’t shine

I picked up my shovel and began to whine

I loaded sixteen tons of wet gray snow

And my neighbor said “It’s just started to blow.”

 

You load sixteen tons, what do you get?

It’s another foot deeper and my socks are wet

Saint Peter don’t you call me when there’s all this snow

It’s hellish cold and the wind does blow

 

If you see me comin’, better step aside

Snowblower’s goin’ and we’re goin’ for a ride

Throttle is stickin’ and you’re gonna take a lickin’

If the auger sucks  your foot inside.

 

You load sixteen tons, what do you get?

It’s another foot deeper and my socks are wet

Saint Peter don’t you call me when there’s all this snow

It’s hellish cold and the wind does blow

 

 

Apologies to Merle Travis
Cold War, Frostbite, snow, Socks, Things to Do When Your Water Crystallizes on You, Winter

A little exertion & one ton of exaggeration

Image
Autumn, steam radiators

A message to the super, Danny.

 

Oh Danny boy, the pipes, the pipes are calling

From floor to floor, and down and side to side,

The summer’s gone, and temperatures are falling,

It’s you, it’s you must go, and I must bide

And on the ice must slide.

 

But come ye back when busy is the blizzard,

And when the valley’s hushed and white with snow.

It’s I’ll be here, in long johns like the Eskimos,

Oh Danny boy, I cannot feel my toes.

 

 

Oh Danny boy, Danny boy, the pipes, the pipes are knocking

From floor to floor, and down and side-to-side,

The summer’s gone, and radiators need unblocking,

It’s you, it’s you must go, the thermometer’s fried.

 

But come ye back ere next summer’s in the meadow

And when the valley’s hushed and white with snow,

Tis I’ll be here in salt brine and in ice floe,

Oh, plumber guy, plumber guy, how my nose I’ll blow!

 

But when ye come,

and the flowers have taken a beating,

If I am dead, as dead I well may be,

Maybe then ye’ll come and find the place

and finally fix the heating.

 

 

 

 

The photo of the radiator is by F J Ferris on the hevac-heritage.org site.
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