I went out one mornin’ when the sun didn’t shine

I picked up my shovel and began to whine

I loaded sixteen tons of wet gray snow

And my neighbor said “It’s just started to blow.”

 

You load sixteen tons, what do you get?

It’s another foot deeper and my socks are wet

Saint Peter don’t you call me when there’s all this snow

It’s hellish cold and the wind does blow

 

If you see me comin’, better step aside

Snowblower’s goin’ and we’re goin’ for a ride

Throttle is stickin’ and you’re gonna take a lickin’

If the auger sucks  your foot inside.

 

You load sixteen tons, what do you get?

It’s another foot deeper and my socks are wet

Saint Peter don’t you call me when there’s all this snow

It’s hellish cold and the wind does blow

 

 

Apologies to Merle Travis
Cold War, Frostbite, snow, Socks, Things to Do When Your Water Crystallizes on You, Winter

A little exertion & one ton of exaggeration

Image
Autumn, steam radiators

A message to the super, Danny.

 

Oh Danny boy, the pipes, the pipes are calling

From floor to floor, and down and side to side,

The summer’s gone, and temperatures are falling,

It’s you, it’s you must go, and I must bide

And on the ice must slide.

 

But come ye back when busy is the blizzard,

And when the valley’s hushed and white with snow.

It’s I’ll be here, in long johns like the Eskimos,

Oh Danny boy, I cannot feel my toes.

 

 

Oh Danny boy, Danny boy, the pipes, the pipes are knocking

From floor to floor, and down and side-to-side,

The summer’s gone, and radiators need unblocking,

It’s you, it’s you must go, the thermometer’s fried.

 

But come ye back ere next summer’s in the meadow

And when the valley’s hushed and white with snow,

Tis I’ll be here in salt brine and in ice floe,

Oh, plumber guy, plumber guy, how my nose I’ll blow!

 

But when ye come,

and the flowers have taken a beating,

If I am dead, as dead I well may be,

Maybe then ye’ll come and find the place

and finally fix the heating.

 

 

 

 

The photo of the radiator is by F J Ferris on the hevac-heritage.org site.
Standard