Arrant Nonsense, Holidays, Sweaters, United States, Winter

A New Holiday. Happy Equinox Day

 

In the northern U.S., March is often miserable.  Muddy, mucky, mildewy.  It is the Monday morning of months.

Even the mud-caked mutts I meet, mooching along the murky, meandering Milwaukee River, look a little morose.

People are tired of wearing boots, gloves, all these layers of clothing.  Not much spring in our step, as we march along –  fleeced, booted, scarved – outfitted in the Full Milwookie.

And scratchy hats.  As I’m sure you know, the expressions “shock of hair” and “Mad as March hair” are based on the deranged, staticky mops we get in northern climates, after wearing knitted wool hats, nonstop, for five months.

It’s a month named for Mars, who was kind of an idiot, even by the low standards of Roman gods. The god of war, and his quagmire month, when they kicked off the Vietnam and Iraq wars.  I noticed the Mars Bar is being sold in the U.S. again – why don’t we name the month after that, instead – it’s gooey,  brown, and full of nuts – perfect for the season.

Winter seems to be eating up more than its share of the year, and keeps dropping in, uninvited, for another bite.

During the brief thaws, soggy gloves and decaying mittens emerge from the gritty snowbanks, looking like pathetic squirrel carcasses.  Sometimes they actually are squirrel carcasses. Shivering and pale, we curse as we wade through icy puddles of semi-congealed brine.  Dehydrated from freezer burn, feeling a bit testy, even unbalanced some days.  Everything we see and hear, heck the whole darn planet, feels tilted.

I’m inclined to believe, everyone could use a holiday in March.

How about we hatch a new one – – Spring Equinox Day.

We’d focus on balance in our lives, personal and public.

On a day when light and dark are held in balance.

A day to spend with friends and family, and not at work.

Spring Equinox Day wouldn’t improve the weather, but it could take our minds off it, restore our equilibrium a bit.

A celebration of normalcy, stability, and reasonableness.

Crack open a thesaurus, and just look at all those rare and wonderful qualities:

Fair.  Equitable.  Even-handed. Rational.

Lucid.  Clearheaded.  Sensible.

Even-keeled.

Equinox Day would have no sporting events, no car races, no sales, no politicians.  No windbags are allowed to go politicking – – gassy blimps would be allowed, but only for parades, and not making speeches.

The pundits, professional mouthpieces, and talk show hosts should take the day off, too, and give their mouths a rest.  And citizens would be invited to speak instead, in a reasonable way, about “Reasonableness.”

Schoolkids would earn medals for the best essays and speeches on these qualities.  The adults can join them, feeling well-rested after sleeping in, and from our naps during the speeches, and we’ll all turn out for a day of service to our communities.

We have, in theory, a Women’s Equality Day (August 26) marking adoption of the 19th Amendment, and Equal Pay Day, which changes each year, based on the wage gap between men and women.  (Germany also has that observance, since 1988, but fixes it on March 18th.)   International Women’s Day also came and went, on the 8th, without too much press.  A couple of states have transformed Columbus Day into Native Americans Day.  Juneteenth/Freedom Day seems to be fading away.

I haven’t thought all this out yet, so Equinox Day is still pretty vague and Pollyanna-ish, but it actually seems like a decent idea.   It seems politically neutral, even in the seven states which don’t believe the Earth revolves around the sun.

And it seems fair and reasonable to ask people for suggestions – –  post as many as you like, you can stuff the ballot box like a Chicago alderman.   They’ll be reviewed in a dispassionate, reasonable,  even-handed manner… and then I’ll just chuck out the ones I don’t like.  No!  just kidding, I’ll be glad to hear what you think.

 

 

I broke my last eggcup, and had to hire these guys. They’re in the union, but luckily, work for scale.

 

Standard

 

Well kids, we’ve been learning a lot of History by looking at statues, haven’t we.  Well, listen my children, and you shall hear.  Today’s entry is Paul Revere, an amazing guy – – silversmith, engraver, industrialist, propagandist, volunteer soldier, and patriot.

When I examined this statue, I noticed straight away, something very odd – – no pigeons were roosting on it. 

It’s always nice to see someone on horseback, who isn’t brandishing a sword.  But I also found his pose a bit odd, and wondered aloud, why Paul was depicted with his arm out like that.  A well-informed passerby informed me that Revere was famous for feeding the birds as he rode, and told me the story of “Paul & the Pigeons in the Park,” which has been set to verse.  I also have his recipe for Pigeon Pie, if anyone wants it.    

 

In days of old

Pigeons were bold

And chased all the kids from their play.

Never seen in the park,

Were the robin or lark,

Only pigeons on pavements gray.

 

In parks they’d lurk

Twice as big as a turk-

Ey, in days of yore

~

Kids sad as Eeyore

~

Then a hero did appear,

Named Paul Revere.

~

Paul mounted his steed,

And cast down bird seed,

Luring pigeons onto the highway.

On they came, bad and fat,

And Paul’s horse stomped them flat.

And for dinner they had them that day.

~

Boston loves its beans and cod,

Banks and money, more than God.

And Sam Adams rocks –

A very fine beer,

But after the Sox,

It’s Paul they Revere.

 

~

 

 

Granny Hitchborn’s Receipt for Pigeon Pye

Take ye the pigeons that look to be young fat & sweet.   After ye have trimmed them, drawn them, and trussed them as ye would a squab, scrub in salt water & then scald in fair water, heated ‘til seething.  Beat with a billet of wood & pluck them.  Then kill the birds & boil them until it be sufficient.

Lay the birds in a charger & add a handful of whortleberries, unless they be more sour than a Pilgrim at a May Pole Dance, then add rather a goodly store of currants instead.

Now boil the blood and with it Madeira & plenty of mace nutmeg & pepper.  Gum Arabick if needs thickening.

Roll a crust of flour & lard, or lard & hard tack, broke into pieces, or lard, flour, lard, hard tack & lard, and lay on it the crust daintily and bake it

When it has cooked sufficient, on top scatter rosemary & thyme, to lay the smell a bit.

Let cool before cutting and watch ye out for beaks.

Alternate History, Arrant Nonsense, Boston, Colonial History, Early American History, food, History, Public Art, Removing Statues, Revisionist History, statue, United States

Learning All About History By Looking at Statues. Chapter VII. Boston – – Paul’s Pigeon Pie

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